Mix.

And he told me all the crazies are going to Washington, D.C. and he said he could see me there.

Ya, it made me want to go more.

Death of Union & Industry

When will the federal government bail out the newspaper business?
The Global Fishing Industry? The Southern Basket Weaving Association and every Failed Academic Institution in this World?
They are Armageddon Pussies lying and groping for Public Fear Funds.
/Fuck them.

Old Age

Maybe we do not get wiser as we get older.

Today was the first snowfall this Winter.

still defiant on the inside

I am happy this week to be a little less bitter about my job.
I think I was depressed because there is nowhere else to go-
I get upset that I worry about being fired or laid off, half of me wishes for it (well, being laid off). But that is so irresponsible and juvenile.
I do not have the confidence in myself to feel I could jump to another working environment right now.
Even the places, times and things here that make me uncomfortable, anxious or angry are better than they would be at a new place. Through time and necessity I have worked to get this job tolerable.
The things that bother me were a lot more unbearable than now. Starting somewhere new is really impossible for me, right now. That brings me to another thing that makes me sad-- I wish I had dreams strong enough and passion hot enough to WANT to leave this job for my own self respect.
The reality is I will be poor and probably feel just as empty somewhere else.
I wish I could stay up in the clouds, float through an entire life within an altered state. An effortless altered state, that I do not have to work at and no one would dare breach.